So last week a typhoon hit us. It was pretty cool. There was stuff blown everywhere. I didn’t get a chance to look at it though cause I was late to class, booking it down the street to get there. It always seems to take slightly longer than I expect just to walk down the road a block. One of the other foreign teachers told me he read about the typhoon on BBC. This makes it extra cool.
I realized I have to start watching my language. At one point I exited a classroom to witness this:
The first words out of my mouth were “Whoa shit!” and I closed it behind me so I could put away my computer. A couple of the students were like: “ohhh hahaha.” I then corrected it with “oh… sh- shoot… :-/”
Remember the very serious illness that swept the school? They handed these out and said:
“You could wear this.”
“Should I wear it?”
“Here, take one!”
Soooooo I wore it:
SUB-ZERO!!
Yes, I did immediately start pretending to freeze people. Alas, you can only make an ice clone of yourself so many times before tiring of it. I changed the mask to this:
After twenty minutes with that mask on I got bored with it. Plus I didn’t like how when I breathed outward it kind of got all moist and turned back in and rested on my face… gross. I took it off.
Time for lunch!
Let’s see, we have tofu balls, soup, rice, some kind of organ meat, and onions with… what is this? Bacon?? Bacon and onion. Fried in grease. Together. I went up for seconds. I was sooooo happy to have found bacon! It’s not cut in strips. It’s just chopped up with a big chopping knife. This is further proof that somehow, whatever part of the pig bacon comes from, tastes completely different than the rest of the pig on its own. They didn’t smoke it or do anything to it. Just fried some meat with onion. It was the bacon part of meat though. Whatever it was it came from that bacon section and it was soooo good.
I miss western breakfasts. A scrambled egg with toast or a bagel and bacon on the side is unheard of here. Getting such a western flavor was quite a treat. Even just normal onions are difficult to come by. They’re always green onion or something. I got two in one shot. It was wonderful. A little taste of heaven. It’s like when you really crave a White Castle and you get it and it’s wonderful (P.S. eff off haters).
Check out the size of this snail!!
Here’s a picture of me touching it:
Don’t let the picture fool you, that snail was as long as my hand. How did it get so big and old after living such a hard life in China? How did it get all the way up to the top of the trash without being run over or eaten by a cat? Is it dead now? Did the lady pick up the trash and smoosh it under some other trash? Did she eat it? Who knows? I don’t. It was really really cool though. I wanted to keep it as a pet. It’s big enough I could probably sleep with it next to me at night for added security.
On a non-gastropodic note, the students missed “Teachers Day” because of the unplanned vacation. They got me a caaaaaarrrrrrd!! AAAaaaaawwwww!!
Look at how much they loooooooovee mmeeeeeeeeee!!
They got me a flower!! AAAAAaaaaawwwwww!!!
They got me a box of cereal cause I said I couldn’t find any at the store! AAAAAaaawwwww!!!
I feel that the type of cereal is some kind of message however. The girl that gave me this is a smart cookie. She’s real quick. She gives me a run for my money every time I have her in class. I think she wants me to eat healthier. I wouldn’t put it past her to tell me in this way.
Speaking of eating healthy, there’s a little shop outside of my chinese class that is a life saver:
It’s a fake In-N-Out Burger. Johnny is the guy that owns it. He speaks English. Apparently he went to the US, liked In-N-Out, then made a copy of it back here in China. The double cheeseburgers are even called Double-Doubles. He’s a cool guy though. Right now he’s developing a chocolate shake. He has let one person try it out and she says it’s great. I’m looking forward to the unveiling.
The burger itself is kind of bland and it takes them awhile to make food. They’re not a big operation so they have a very small griddle. They can also only make like 3 orders of fries at a time. Wednesdays and Fridays are their most popular days (because that’s when Chinese classes take place). All the white people flood his little hut and order burger after burger. Meanwhile Chinese people walk by and solidify their stereotypes about us.
This is the eating area for Johnny’s. It’s not much bigger than a walk in closet. You go up some spiral stairs in back. It’s full of secret compartments too. Half of those panels in the walls are little cabinets that they put stuff in (clothes, mops, etc.):
After Chinese class and Johnny’s, I was taken to the book store. Outside of the bookstore is apparently the place to have kids under 3 meet and play together. They were riding around in little toy cars and playing with balls and stuff while their mothers stood nearby chatting or something.
Typical Chinese stealing knowledge:
I see Peter Jackson decided to take more of a grassroots approach for the sequel:
After I finished at Book City I had to get home. So I walked down Shenzhen’s mainstreet toward what I hoped were some bus stops that would take me home. It was about a mile walk to my bus stop. It actually took longer because I didn’t find the shortcuts to getting across the street. They’re massive streets and sometimes you just can’t cross them so you have to go down a block in some other direction to get to a foot bridge so you can cross. There were apparently a bunch of underground paths I could have taken. I didn’t realize they went that far:
This building had a roof made of lightsaber:
It was a two hour bus ride home. It’s annoying cause I can’t just fall asleep like everyone else does. I have to switch buses. I can’t understand what they’re saying over the intercom most of the time either, so I can’t just listen for it (yet).
That lady in the uniform is the bus maid… or… bus lady… I don’t know. I don’t know what she’s called. It’s always a woman though. When you get on the bus you sit down, then she comes up and yells something in Chinese, then you say the bus stop you want to go to, then she charges you however much it costs to get there. It’s like 2 RMB for the first 10 stops, 3 for the first 20, something like that. This led to a lot of confusion the first time I got on the bus. She asked me a question, I stared blankly and gave her 2 kuai. Then she got mad when I stayed on longer than the first 10 stops. I immediately departed when she started yelling at me cause I was getting the distinct feeling she didn’t want me on the bus anymore.
It’s the most inefficient bus system ever. It’s not like the US at all. In the US they average out everything and make you pay at the door for a couple hours of bus time. It eliminates the entire need for this person on the bus which means you have an even lower operating cost. They have different rules for different buses. Some buses have this lady on them, some of them cost 1 RMB that you scan at the front of the bus, some cost 2 RMB that you pay at the front of the bus. Some cost like 3 or something with this lady to go a long distance. I would think they would average everything to about 2.50 or something and then not even need this woman. It’s especially annoying if you don’t know where you’re going. Half the time I don’t, I’m going by landmarks… :-/
I got back during passing time:
The student cafeteria had a bunch of black lights turned on inside of it. Obviously the camera couldn’t capture that weird purple glow. I’ve seen this before. I don’t know what it’s for. Decontamination or bugs or something; I don’t know. I remember seeing it in the employee cafeteria in Yellowstone and being confused about it then:
The next day I’m reminded of how much I should be thankful I had gym in the US:
From the Orwell files:
Every day at 11:20 am and I think like 7 pm they do this. A voice comes on to the PA system and has pleasant chinese background music. The voice says “Yi, Ar, San, Si, Wu” etc. It’s just counting up from 1 to 8 and then it skips back to 2 through 7 or something. The numbers it’s saying don’t make a lot of sense. The kids then do these eye exercises to keep awake and healthy and not get headaches from all the ridiculous amount of studying they do.
It’s super creepy to watch. If your class goes a couple minutes overtime they’ll just stop listening to you and start doing it, whether you continue to talk to them or not. This never happens at any other time where you go over time. During other class periods they’ll continue to listen to you and respond. If this voice comes on however, they’re gone. Immediately. It feels very… scary. It’s unnerving. I feel really uncomfortable when this happens. I mean notice how no one in that photo looked up at me. That’s because they’re all doing it (except the one who is standing because he was late).
The amount of control that authority has here is quite amazing. The fact that people listen to it even when it’s something small and stupid like pressing on your eyebrows is mind-blowing to me. Why would they rebel against it though right? They’re being helpful. They’re helping them do these eye exercises to keep from getting headaches and stuff. That’s good. What is there to rebel against?
Moving on. This is some of the stuff they do during break time. Net-less badminton and volleyball:
Sports and exercise:
Chinese B-Boys:
You can’t see it, but behind that pillar is a pair of nunchucks that they were swinging around as part of their B-Boy dance. I asked someone what they were doing (I knew, I just wanted to hear their explanation) and they said:
“Doing crazy dancing.”
“Dancing? They’re B-boys?”
“No.. Yes.. Dancing like black people do.”
They think US black culture is so cool, yet they don’t like black people. Just another mystery of the Chinese.
I found out a new perk for teachers. There’s bus that takes us from the school to the cafeteria:
This weather van was sitting in our courtyard for like a week after the Typhoon. It didn’t seem to really do anything except have fun little twirly things on top. No one was even in it, it just sat there plugged in. I assume it was collecting data of some kind. I’m just a little confused as to why it came all the way up to my school to do the data research.
Also: Faces in Places?
